Titanic II
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OK, so the original left off with thousands of people dead, including
those in the audience who died of insulin shock from that saccharine Celine
Dion song. And of course, we have no boat...
Never fear. Just like those Airport movies - they always had another
plane - they can get another boat. The new, improved Titanic will be a
super boat, even more of a super boat than the original Titanic. Icebergs
bounce off of it.
And Leonardo DiCaprio comes back. He explains it was all a dream. No,
that's been done. No, he says he swam around for a while and wound up with
Skipper, Mary Ann, Ginger, a Professor, a Millionaire and His wife and
some guy named Gilligan.
They have all sorts of zany antics, told in flashback, until finally,
Batman arrives and rescues the castaways and Leonardo is invited to sail
on the new Titanic. Adam West as Batman would rename the boat "Bat-tanic."
He becomes best pals with Macaulay Culkin, who by some kind of zany
mix-up is left on the boat alone because his parents are self-absorbed
nincompoops. And then, a huge robot played by Arnold Schwarzenegger comes
back from the future to hunt down Michael J. Fox and thus make the world
safe for alien invaders from Mars who will eventually kill the president
played by Jack Nicholson, and another alien tries to phone home, except
he can't because he is under attack from a giant shark...
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